Written By Tanya Smith

“If you can find the humor in something—especially in the hardest moments—grab onto it. Sometimes, laughter is the only thing that makes the weight bearable.” – Tanya Smith

Take Action

1. Laughter can save you. Find something to laugh about today. Even if it’s small or feels silly, laughter is free and has the power to shift everything.
2. Stay open but stay mindful. You can accept life’s ups and downs while still staying true to yourself, like a reed in the wind. Not everything is in your control, but your choices
   still matter.
3. Dreams may change, but you will keep going. Whatever you’re building, don’t give up on yourself. Despite many setbacks, there’s still space to grow, dream, and rebuild. If
   necessary, distill dreams to ensure alignment with evolving priorities and release what no longer serves you.
4. Your suffering can be a great teacher – but only if you let it.
5. True power is not power over another, but rising above one’s circumstances.

The Story

At 19, I thought I would have all the answers once I became “an adult”. Instead, life has been a series of rewrites, constantly adjusting, learning, and letting go of what I once thought I needed.

I used to believe that if I planned my life with enough precision, I could ensure a “life-according-to-plan”. I did not expect perfection, but I did expect precision planning to optimize positive outcomes and minimize negative ones. I mapped everything, including my career, independence, and relationships, like an architect designing a blueprint. I thought that if I worked hard, sacrificed, and made the right choices, life would reward me accordingly.

Life, however, had other plans.

I hit roadblocks – some relentlessly recurring – that I never saw coming, such as career shifts, financial instability, and losses that broke the foundation of my beliefs, of my personality, of who I thought I was. Despite my impressive résumé and unwavering persistence, I watched opportunity after opportunity slip through my fingers.

I long believed resilience meant pushing through at all costs, forcing my plan to work. But here’s what I’ve learned: true strength requires not only persistence but also openness—being willing to pivot, laugh, and embrace uncertainty instead of fearing it.

Choosing Discipline, Not Despair

There were moments when settling would have been easier—whether in relationships, careers, or life decisions. I grew up in a world where women were expected to follow a traditional path: marry young, find security, and let life happen to them. But I’ve always wanted more.

I crave love, but not at the cost of real connection. Give me a man who wants to talk all night instead of one who just wants to sweep me off my feet. I crave stability, but not at the expense of purpose. I have walked away from toxic relationships, whether family, friends or otherwise; opportunities that didn’t align with my values; and societal expectations that told me I should have figured everything out by now.

I’ve come to understand that discipline isn’t just about working hard—it’s about knowing what not to accept. To me, success isn’t just about survival or material wealth; it’s about living with intention, often in defiance of how society defines success.

How to Dream while Living in the Now

For years, I planned my life eight years in advance. Now, I focus on making it through the week. And maybe that’s not a bad thing. Here’s how I learned to become more present.

My best friend (who was more a sister to me) had breast cancer at the tender age of 36. While I was exhausting myself, chasing stability, she was fighting for time, the only thing we can’t control. Her situation made me push myself harder, even though financially I barely scraped by. My Type-A personality grew frustratingly impatient as the setbacks snowballed. Being reminded of life’s impermanence fueled my impatience. After all, what are goals if not constrained by a timeline? At least that’s what we’re told.

When she died, I was grief-stricken. But her death gave a gift to me, because I finally asked myself the question I dared not ask: What if I ran out of time, as she did, before I could realize my dreams? Would I be a failure – or was there another way? Could it be possible for me to dream daringly and not care about the ultimate outcome? How do we strive while surrendering to our human and life limits?

Life isn’t something we arrive at; it is happening now. It is not found in some future version of success but in the moments that seem too small to matter, the deep conversations, the belly laughs, and the quiet joys of simply being.

Laughter is Liberation and Freedom is Power

I don’t have all the answers, and I’ve stopped expecting to. But I know this: I’d rather laugh through the unknown than let it swallow me whole.

There’s something absurd about how life unfolds, how you can pour yourself into something for years only to see it unravel overnight. But sometimes, humor becomes the best form of rebellion – and I am a rebel in many ways – when the only other option is despair. So, I laugh. I laugh at the irony, at the unpredictability, at myself. I remind myself that even in struggle, I am still here, I am still trying, I am still becoming, and that is enough.

If you let them, painful experiences can break you in order to build you. Society defines power as a form of dominance determined by influence and socioeconomic status. A master has power over his servants; a CEO has power over her employees. For me, however, true power is a knowing that can only be taught by suffering. I have power over my circumstances because I know they cannot defeat me. But I learned this lesson only after I chose to face my suffering with radical honesty and acceptance, instead of diminishing it or dismissing it; then, and only then, did I allow that suffering to serve its higher purpose. So, let your pain empower you.

Your Turn

How do you stay open in the face of uncertainty?

Think about one small joy you can embrace today.